Forecasts, Plans, and Other Stories

An Honest Translation of Common Sales Terms

Terms We Use Every Day (And What They Actually Mean)

Sales has its own language.On paper, it sounds strategic, disciplined, and rational.

In practice… it’s aspirational.

Below is a translation guide for some of the most common sales terms — rewritten with honesty, affection, and a sense of humor earned the hard way.

Account Plan

A 20-page document outlining how you’ll win a deal even though the client hasn’t responded to your last three emails.

Reviewed quarterly. Updated nightly. Believed selectively.

Account Strategy

A motivational narrative explaining how persistence, relationship-building, and positive thinking will overcome internal politics, shifting priorities, and basic human avoidance.

Often revised after the third “just checking in” email.

White Space Analysis

A hopeful exercise where we identify all the things the customer could buy if money, timing, and decision-making magically aligned at the same moment.

Sometimes confused with astrology.

Strategic Account

An account everyone agrees is critically important… until something goes wrong, at which point it was obviously always your responsibility.

Account Segmentation

The quiet act of sorting accounts into:

• Ones that might buy

• Ones that pretend they might buy

• Ones that will never buy but refuse to say so

All three are forecasted.

Executive Sponsor

A senior leader who appears once, says something vaguely inspirational, and later receives partial credit for the deal.

Often travels with confidence and minimal context.

Champion

Your internal advocate who genuinely wants to help — right up until they get promoted, reassigned, burned out, or mysteriously stop replying.

Sales teaches you not to build deals that depend on one human staying still.

Coach

An insider who provides excellent guidance, political insight, and warnings — all strictly off the record and fully deniable.

Economic Buyer

A mythical figure who has budget authority, decision power, and no time whatsoever.

Communicates primarily through assistants, calendar declines, and “let’s circle back.”

Technical Buyer

The guardian of the existing system, whose core mission is ensuring nothing changes unless absolutely necessary, thoroughly documented, and tested six times.

Built it once. Knows it forever.

Blocker

A stakeholder whose personal brand is “Not a Priority.”

Often armed with phrases like:

• “Not in scope”

• “Not this quarter”

• “Let’s revisit later”

  
  

Deal Architecture

A carefully designed proposal that will be immediately restructured by procurement.

Usually shorter by 40% afterward.

Proof of Concept (POC)

A limited trial intended to prove value, demonstrate capability, and quietly deliver enterprise-grade results for free.

Frequently followed by: “This was great. Let us think about next steps.”

Business Case

A logical, well-reasoned financial justification that loses instantly to “budget freeze” or “gut feel.”

Still required.

Mutual Action Plan (MAP)

A shared timeline everyone agrees to in theory and ignores in practice.

Often rediscovered weeks later with surprise.

Red Flags

Clear warning signs that something is wrong, usually described in forecast calls as “manageable.”

Incumbent

The existing vendor everyone complains about but keeps renewing because switching feels exhausting.

Comfortable. Familiar. Unmovable.

Displacement Strategy

The delicate art of explaining to a customer that they deserve better — while knowing they might still stay in the relationship out of habit.

No-Decision

When everyone agrees the solution is great, the value is clear, and the timing is perfect… and nothing happens.

The most common competitor in sales.

Differentiation

Your unique value proposition — which sounds extremely distinctive until placed next to a competitor’s slide deck.

CRM

A system of record documenting optimism, intent, and deadline pressure.

Accurate briefly. Updated frequently. Quoted dangerously.

Final Thought

Sales language exists to give structure to uncertainty.

When you understand what these terms really mean, you stop fighting reality — and start working with it.

And that’s when sales gets easier, funnier, and far more effective.